Looking for free science-fiction-related entertainment but you’re a moron? Of course not, only intelligent people read this blog, it’s actually a requirement to sign on to my newsletter. Don’t know where I’m going with this. Anyway, if you’re looking for science-fiction 4 free, get a Netflix account and pretend like you’re not paying anything. Also, here’s some suggestions on the incredibly free (unless we’re talking about renting movies) YouTube.com.
I’m gonna go with, most of these are humor-based, and some have little relation to science-fiction.
The only reason this is so high is because I didn’t think of it. Knox’s clay videos are more popular, and a lot of those are classics; take “Klay Kamping” for example. Here’s a comedy dub of The Matrix Revolutions, re-enjoyed here, perhaps more than it was the first time around.
9. Arnold’s account of Total Recall
Arnold impressions are a tricky business. People always, always overdo it. This guy doesn’t necessarily blow me away, but it doesn’t matter. To be fair, he was working with already great material, but it’s whatever. This video is hilarious.
8. Mass Effect: Commander Shepard is Such a Jerk
Mass Effect is one of the few video-games I think is really well-written and well-acted. It’s a rare thing, for sure. This video showcases the humor element, which is rather high in this three-part space opera.
These ne’erdowells go around acting out goofy elements of video-games around unsuspecting non-gamers. I haven’t even played RE 4, playing only the next-gen episode, which is a great co-op monster-blow-em-up. For more YouTube RE 4 videos, check out “Mr. Chris rants on KHIII and RE4.”
6. 160 Greatest Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes
160 Quotes? I got to hand it to this guy.
5. Premakes: The Empire Strikes Back (1950)
Part of a clever video series with a cool premise. They take clips from classic sci-fi and set them to the tune of modern movies. It works particularly well for Star Wars because… well, you know.
4. Room Service
There are times in the day where I’m just like, “Man, I love Keanu Reeves.” What better movie to watch than Johnny Mnemonic, if we want to show our appreciation? I’m sure you can find the whole movie online for free, but let’s skip to the greatest scene, the greatest scene — perhaps ever.
3. Michael Bay: Power Director
I don’t know what the hell this is, but I watch it like once a month. When they show him dubbed over on On the Lot, it’s comedy gold.
Whenever I hear someone say “Listen,” with any range of firmness, I think of this video. “The helicopter moves into position.” It’s a great ‘nerdcore’ song, if it qualifies. He mixes dialogue into lyrics, something that was well balanced here and with the Robocop one but I think went too far with T2. This guy’s got a good taste in movies.
- Robocop: The Insane Version, Parts I & II
This is definitely the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. I laugh so hard it’s embarrassing. If you love Robocop as much as I do, or as much any sane, mortal man, you must checka this one. I warn you though, this is the whole movie condensed into twenty minutes, so if you don’t want to get spoilered, steer clear. Watch Robocop — right now, regardless — and then see this.
“You a boy or something?”
Yeah I don’t know, somebody I know… recommended I see this…. and it was really a really smart movie.
Dreck Fiction 
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January 27, 2012 at 4:22 PM
Craig D.
Something tells me the Michael Bay video is only exaggerated a little bit. You ever seen that documentary called Overnight? It’s about Troy Duffy, the egomaniac dickhead who wrote and directed The Boondock Saints, a guy who honestly has no idea how ridiculous he is. It’s much more entertaining than Saints, even though it’s sometimes much more uncomfortable to watch. I can think of all sorts of unpleasant things I would rather do than watch any of Bay’s movies, but I would gladly watch a documentary or reality TV series based around his life.
January 27, 2012 at 9:54 PM
Jung-ho
I haven’t seen Overnight but I desperately want to — a while ago a friend of mine and I started watching The Boondock Saints, got about halfway through, gave each other a look, and turned it off. Until we discovered those two guys were brothers about halfway through the half, we were convinced they were gay, because the homoeroticism was THROUGH THE ROOF. Obviously that’s not a real issue, but I bring it up because my perception of how most people see The Boondock Saints is ‘as a super cool Tarantino-esque action flick.’ But nobody thinks gay people are cool — and Willen Defoe is actually gay in that movie! It’s mind-boggering.
January 27, 2012 at 10:48 PM
Craig D.
Saints reminded me of those guys who harbor secret gay desires but call everyone they know a “fag.” It’s simultaneously a very gay and very homophobic movie. I doubt that anyone involved in the making of it was aware of the irony.
I would love to see an action movie with a gay hero in which his sexuality is not an issue, but that’s about as likely as seeing an action movie with a female hero in which her gender is never brought up. (The filmmakers always feel to need to have that “tough grrrl” attitude, which is pandering horseshit.) I remember reading something not long ago about the director of one of the Transporter movies insisting that Jason Statham’s character was gay, but there was nothing in the movie to support that, and I’ve been told that he’s definitely hetero in Part 3.
Anyway, Willem Dafoe’s character in Saints was easily the best thing about the movie, and I quite enjoyed the scene in which he infiltrates the mob hideout dressed in drag. It made me think that he would make a good Tom Ripley, because in the book The Boy Who Followed Ripley, Tom does pretty much the same thing. I can’t imagine Matt Damon agreeing to do something like that. (Oddly, Willem Dafoe was in the last Ripley movie, Ripley Under Ground, which has never been released in America, but he didn’t play Tom.)
On a barely related note, I saw Boondock II not long ago on one of the movie channels when I was bored and there was nothing else on. It’s even worse than Part 1, but more entertaining in a train wreck, “I can’t believe the director thinks this is cool” sort of way. Dafoe only gets a cameo, and Julie Benz makes a horrible replacement for his character. Clifton Collins also embarrasses himself, but he gets the only genuinely funny moment in the movie when he spends a lot of time thinking about what one-liner he’s going to use when he enters a room with a gun, and he settles on “DING DONG, MOTHERFUCKERS, DING DONG!”
January 27, 2012 at 11:12 PM
Jung-ho
The “I can’t believe the director thinks this is cool” certainly permeates the whole thing, the atmosphere, the post-Tarantino stylization and ‘witty’ ‘dialogue’…
Death Race 2008 is really the only movie I can think of that comes close to having a gay character where his sexuality is of absolutely no consequence. The guys bring up the rumor that Tyrese’s character Machine Gun Joe is gay, which is why he always has guys for passengers in his death cars. It’s neither confirmed or denied, and since it’s not really a funny joke, perhaps it wasn’t going for the quick laugh. That, or Paul WS Anderson is just so incompetent he can’t even do a decent gay joke…
Boondock Saints II is a movie that, had I not known of the first, wouldn’t been another Basic Instinct 2. I remember seeing a TV spot for Basic Instinct 2 on TV and being totally dumbfounded. What the hell is Basic Instinct — a movie that came out just before I was botn.
Clifton Collins Jr is a totally underrated cult hero — after being the nipple-cutting-off villain in Crank 2 and de-veganizing Superman alongside the Punisher as a Man in Black, you’d think he’d have more fan clout